“So, tell me, what is this De Ascanio fella like? Or well, what was he like?” Sid asked, if he had the ability to smoke a nice fat cigar right now with a bottle of whiskey for the bitter taste combination, he would. Alas, he was pretty sure such an attempt would end up with him being turned rather crispy as well.     Dummies were probably more flammable than even he realized.
   
Layers of expensive cotton-fake clothing, the fact the body was made of wood and well, these things were covered in a few oils - practically soaked in them. All things to preserve the furnishings and the shape, to prevent expansion and deflation, to ward off the sort of insects that like to carve into wood.
   
“Feels like a room for a’ surgery here, for a guy like me…”     Sid glanced over what was a restoration room in the back of the museum. Amongst his graveyard of forgotten artifacts were a few more ‘haunted dolls’, that were simply just old more than anything else. “This guy really just bought whateva’ creepster he could find? From all around the world, eh?” The man obviously lacked some class.
   
But hey, he found Sid - the real deal. So De Ascanio couldn’t have been all hot air and talk, Sid concluded.
   
“De Ascanio was a very peculiar… man, teacher, saint to some…” Mati explained, having led Sid here - it was appropriate that they fixed him up a bit. To avoid any accusations of theft or the like, Mati had cleaned up the glass from Sid’s own escape just moments prior and left a small paper note on what remained of the display, denoting that there was an immediate need for renovation and repair, after a ‘cleaning’ incident.
   
The fib was surely going to work well in her favour, not many people came to the Occult Museum in the first place. But Sid was the primary attraction, when any of the students did come by to wander and indulge in some obscene curiosities. Although, Mati remembered most of the girls that she knew personally from class, would only come around to mock her and make fun of Sid to his supposedly inanimate face.
   
“De Ascanio called this his ‘Spiritual Wardrobe’. One of his major hobbies was restorations of certain things, since the state of which he bought them… well - they were often terrible.” The ever honest Mati explained, while Sid managed to climb up onto a chair that was left pushed out, probably from De Ascanio himself. From there, his little hands rather effortlessly grabbed a working desk by the corners and hoisted his body up onto it.
   
Not noticing how much progress was made already, when Mati turned back toward Sid, she let out a soft ‘Eep!’ of surprise. “Are you sure you should be climbing around like that? I mean… if you fall, does it hurt?”
   
“Hard to tell, it seems that my soul has been stayin’ rent free in this body a little too long…” Cockily, Sid tramped all over De Ascanio’s old desk like he owned it. Kicking some useless papers aside and examining some of his latest work. Hardly anything the deceased De Ascanio would be known for. “What a cuckoo. He worked on a lot of clocks - betya he neva’ knew the time he actually spent in this place…”
   
Indeed, there was a row of dismantled clocks, often of wooden framing and Germanic decoration, lining one side of the desk - passing onto a long table full of tools and other half-hearted projects. “This guy couldn’t fly straight to save his life, ya know? Look at all these projects, just abandoned…” Sid looked at himself, self consciously for only a moment. “I ain’t too rubbished up, am I? Sheesh, if you took me here, I must be lookin’ as rough as a Dutch road.”
   
“Oh no, no…” Mati blushed lightly, waving her hands. “It is not that you look bad or anything-”
   
“Complimenting me now? Already? And we just met-” Teased Sid, which only made Mati blush slightly harder. Before she could assert herself, Sid already came in with another low blow of a comment. “Not much for the tall guys, are ya? Ya like bossin’ around the short ones, wrappin’ them around ya finger like a curl of hair?”
   
At the very least, she was able to break her own awkward spell with a harsh smile before returning to a reserved expression. Almost stoic. “I’m not popular with boys. Or anyone, for that matter.” She turned away, happy to not be facing this topic for any longer than she had to, seemingly. “We can leave it at that…”
   
Teasing her any further about it would be cruel, Sid thought. Giving her some encouragement, however - that was the right thing to do and he was well on his way to just speak his mind anyways. “Not yet at least - don’t worry too much at this age, take it from me…” Yes, take it from the speaking dummy. Clearly, a spirit inhabiting a doll is the best beacon of good worldly advice possible. “When ya young, you make nothin’ but mistakes. But even an egg, with another pressure, becomes a bit hard boiled. So its fine if you are a bit soft and runny now…”
   
“I don’t like runny eggs…” Mati replied, fingering through some boxes and small crates that littered one of the corners of De Ascanio’s workshop. This man had some truly antique repair kits laying around. Some of them were erroneously placed here - instead of being prepared for the museum showcase itself. “Wow, he even has an antique Vampire slaying kit…!”
   
Having opened it, she examined a set of crosses, some practically mummified garlic, vials of holy water and also several stakes - some of them seemingly stained in what could only be called ancient blood. “Doesn’t look like one of those cheap reproductions or movie props this time, either…”
   
“What are you looking for, exactly, hon?” Sid leaned against a lamp, kicking the on switch with his foot. He was surprised that he could feel some of the heat from it. This continued symbiosis with his wooden body wasn’t too bad, but he’d need to get out of it sometime in the future. Who knows what would happen if he continued on like this…
   
“Just a repair kit. To remove the… shards of glass sticking out of you.” Clearly, she did not want to tell Sid straight up just how badly ‘injured’ he was. The possessed puppet pawed at his head, before he felt several shards jaggedly protruding from the wooden scalp. “The glass was reinforced, I am surprised you managed to get through it…”
   
“When you are in a bunch of big spaces as a small guy, you gotta improvise. But ay, I’m still togged to the bricks at least…” Sid was glad to see that his clothes, remarkably, did not get torn up much at all besides one little tear that was mostly unnoticeable. This meant that he simply went head first through the display. “No one else is lookin’ out for me, so I have to take the lead, like a doctah.”
   
“Like a doctor…?”
   
“Yeah, like a doctah.” Sid replied with a chuckle. “What? Doctors aren’t too prestigious anymore or somethin’? Don’t tell me they got those boys working brain-cubicles for middle class pay…”
   
“I guess there are worse professions out there, but no - doctors are pretty well off. Mr. De Asciano came from a family of magicians and doctors.” Now it was just straight suspicious how much this dollface Matilde knew about this guy. “They funded some of his early projects, thinking that he was trying to invest in some form of tangible, functional medicine that wasn’t necessarily alternative…”
   
“Alternative medicine, we just call that ‘fancy occult stuff’ from when I was around.” Shaking his head, Sid was busy toying with what De Ascanio had left behind in the mortal realm. It was not like he had to pull open any drawers, his vices were pretty clearly everywhere on the table still. An ashtray for cigars, but the guy smoked the cheapest rolls possible. No flavour, quick burn - he must have done it just for the looks and nothing else.
   
An empty bottle of American bourbon was leaning against a full bottle of the stuff. It also looked cheap, but considering it was an import, he probably paid too much for even that. This guy was running draw on gogo juice, no motivation, no energy. “And you said this guy was a wannabe necromancer?” Sid interrogated, finding some irony in the fact that the guy took the practice of restoration so far. To the point he even tried to fix up the dead. “No offense, but he’s an average joe tryin’ to play a character or somethin’.”
   
“De Ascanio was just trying to be himself…” Of course a sweet nerd like her would have sympathy for the nerd that made it big. Even if he didn’t have anything to show for it too much, De Ascanio obviously enjoyed the privileges of cheap drinks and expensive heirlooms to litter the rooms of his establishments. “Restoration was his biggest goal, for all things…” And that was why Mati found this kit-box. A fancy wooden, lightweight chest that looked like it was better suited for containing a chessboard and pieces inside of it.
   
The wondrous chestnut surfacing slid open and once the top was removed, a sensible storage of ventriloquist dummy-repair items looked back at the two of them. Scooting it further onto De Ascanio’s work desk, Mati sat down and Sid was too busy looking worried, as he loomed over the supplies.
   
“I see why they knock ya out before surgery and don’t let ya see the sterilized tools now…” Sid made a good point, it was just a bit mortifying. Perhaps Mati should have considered this presentation a bit more. But, Sid was able to notice how she almost shivered in embarrassment over this. “Let’s get this ova’ with. We got some things to figu’a out.”
   
“W-what kind of things?” Mati asked, almost forgetting the ramifications of something like this event would no doubt be rather considerable. “I mean, you want me to help you with things? I can do that…”
   
“Well, we need to get me out of this body, to be frank.” Sitting down, Sid lowered his head toward her with a huff. “Get the tweezas and get to the juicy bit. I doubt I’ll be screamin’ on account of being as numb as a politician.”
   
With a soft smile, Mati grabbed a pair of tweezers that was usually used for pulling out chips of wood from dummies during minimal damage or just wear and tear from continual use. Carefully, she maneuvered the nose of the pinchers through the hair and grasped at the first bit of glass. Truthfully, she could have done this by hand, but she did not want to risk damaging Sid or even cutting herself in the process.
   
A single tug and the shard came out, carefully it was then placed in a small tin within the box. It had some old, dried splinters from past repairs years ago. “De Ascanio actually refurbished you quite a bit… You were one of the first projects he finished in a while.”
   
“I’m flattered, he probably saw how much of a butter and egg man I was. But he seemed to be the type to hit the giggle juice fairly often - dunno if I wanna take ‘is word for any’tin’.”     Referring to the empty bottles, Sid knew a guy with a problem developing or someone slowly falling off the wagon again would be drinking alone during working hours. “He musta had a lot on his mind.”
   
“They are closing the Occult Museum and I believe he… had a terminal illness.” Explained Mati, as she continued to pull the glass from his head. Surprised that his hair was so human-like - it practically was real. “So, he did his best to … try and transfer his soul to another plane of existence.”
   
“Not a bad idea, but it would have been smarter to transfer his soul into somethin’ else for the time bein’. Ain’t no body is too fond of the othaside, honestly… not at all what it is cracked up to be.” Doing his best to not shake his head, Sid remained frozen as she proceeded to pull out the final shard from the display case. “I ain’t sayin’ he had to put himself in a dummy though... maybe he tried with me and found out it wasn’t so vacant in ‘ere. That would explain why he gave me the extra attention ‘n all.”
   
“Are you sure you aren’t De Ascanio in there? Pulling a fast one on me?” The slight accusatory and playful tone from her was a bit hot, he’d have to admit. But Mati was serious, she wasn’t entirely convinced who or what exactly was in this puppet. “Who are you, Sid? Really?”
   
“A demon hunter, of sorts. Somethin’ like that. Think of it as… a detective of the otherworldly sort.” Sid scoffed at the title in a humble way. Although, he did notice Mati’s eyes had grown somewhat. But it wasn’t over his casual and cool attitude. She was examining the last shard very closely and with a determined, analytical studying at that. “What ya seein’ there toots? Bit too small for a propa reflection. Ya don’t got a mirror?”
   
“There’s blood… on this shard…” Mati confirmed, presenting it toward Sid - whose comically agape mouth was then quickly shut. His small fingers traced his scalp. “Are you sure you don’t feel anything…? I mean, this has to be your’s, right?”
   
“I felt a bit of a knick, but I thought it was nothin’... like a literal phantom pain ya know?” Disturbed, Sid dabbed the place where the shard had been with his finger. Returning the appendage to the position between them, they both saw a dab of red. It was real. No joke about it. “It ain’t some of those preservation juices in me either to keep the wood from rotting…”
   
A realization struck them both, but Mati answered first before Sid could. Or rather, Sid let her take this victory lap of an assessment. “De Ascanio… something he did, restored you. Or is, restoring you to a human form… He’s a necromancer, wannabe or not, whatever he did - it might be working!”
   
Excited, for reasons she could not describe, Sid wasn’t so enthusiastic about the full extent of the answer. “You’re right, but if that means I am going to be a literal living doll instead of a proppa’ mensch… I think I'd rather have the curtains on me.” Sid stood up on the table, before moving over to the lamp and trying to judge his own height next to it. “I ain’t done what I did, survived what I have, just to live the rest of my life as a munchkin or a midget… I wanna get outta of this body…”
   
“Well…” Mati began, which caught Sid’s attention. Was it a possibility after all? “De Ascanio… was looking into something rather eccentric. I am unsure if it was even possible, but it was a plan that did not work… from what I could tell.”
   
This poor girl, she had a lot of bright ideas and good inputs, but none of the confidence. Sid decided to fluff her up a bit. Be a good man, give her some tips. “Ya know, even with ya body lookin’ a bit pudgy from too much study-pudding, you can become a real babe if ya want to…”
   
“W-what is this about? What does this have to do with your situation?” She was quick to reflect and deflect the attention from herself any chance she got. It was something she was used to doing. A defense mechanism. “We… we might have a way to give you a proper body or at least, a better replacement…”
   
“I’m all for it, ya know…” Interchanged Sid, but he didn’t want to get off this topic just yet. Now, maybe it was just some semblance of humanity returning to him, he was thinking about another body entirely. “I’m just sayin’, ya could be a hot mama without having a hard-body. You know what would look good on you?”
   
Mati was completely speechless. “...” But she was also in no position to object to some potential good input. “Okay, fine… what would look good on me?”
   
“Somethin’ that screams ‘I’m a tough dame and a hard babe’. A leather jacket, bit long to go past the hips and somethin’ slimming like a leopard print dress or shirt. Show some of them legs of your’s off.” Sid was… blatantly projecting another woman onto Mati, which just made her frown. “I mean, oof. We need more women with boots. Leather boots, nice and clad along the calf. Blonde hair tied back to uhh… tie it all together…” Was it possible for a dummy to salivate? Because it was coming close to that.
   
“Oh, please, I’d never be able to pull a look like that off anytime ever…” With an adjudgement to her brille-style glasses, she cocked her head at the dummy and was wondering what had just gotten over him. “Sid. Let’s… not talk about my body, let’s think about your’s-”
   
“Fine, fine…” Waving it away at her, Sid seemed to cave in. Only come back at her with something sharp. “I don’t want to poke at any insecurities…”
   
“I-I don’t have insecurities!” Her legs pushed together and her hands rested on her knees, she was adamant about not being pushed around like this. “I just… keep it simple!”
   
“Why?” Sid appeared surprisingly expressive. Sometimes, Mati forgot she was talking to a doll in the mere guise of a human that disguised a lost soul underneath. In the end, she was as green around the ears as money - he had to remember that. “You just gotta express more of yourself without fearin’ much else ya know. Or is it all just a dress code sorta thing?”
   
“Well, it is both.” Flustered visibly more and more, she knew Sid was going to keep poking at this subject unless she gave in. “I’m not too happy with my body, okay…?”
   
It was sad to hear anyone say that. While the face was not entirely able to frown, Sid’s eyes did lower and look a bit sour toward the whole world. “Ay, listen, you got the hips and all that matters.”
   
Matilde raised her eyebrows in a little astonishment. It was one of the first genuine compliments she had ever received. “I guess you’re right…” She didn’t want to negate it, for that would be like suddenly turning back a gift. Regardless, they needed to get back on track. “Anyways, Sid…”
   
This was enough for the possessed dummy, for now. He extended his arm with the torn sleeve, as Mati was already grabbing for a needle and was comparing spools of thread with the texture of Sid’s suit. “I don’t want it to stand out too much, but I think a navy blue string will look good… this shade here is like a midnight sky. It is a bit better than black even. Your clothes are a little faded, not as black as they used to be - so this will be perfect.” The intuitive approach was something any detective would appreciate.
   
“Keen eyes there missey. You work with cloth and needles often?” Judging by how clumsy the first attempts to pierce the fabric of the suit were, it was clear this was not the case. “Careful now! I’m a dummy, not a voodoo doll!’
   
“Sorry, I don’t remember how to do this as well as I used to…” But Mati did a fine job in the end, making Sid look almost worthy of presentation again in a display case. Not like he would ever fall into that sort of gig again. “De Ascanio… was always fond of wooden works. He believed they were conduits for spirits.”

Every time the nerdy girl said something, Sid was impressed with just how much she knew. “I bet you learned a lot from his books, but less from ‘im ‘imself, eh?” She still had a lot to learn, he’d be in the wrong if he didn’t help her even a little bit. “Luckily, I got lots of knowledge too. You do too - ya just haven’t found the right way to apply it yet.”
   
“So that is true? Wooden figures can attract spirits?” Mati asked, placing the sewing kit in the box and sealing it all nice and tight. Hopefully, they would not need to open it again any time soon. “I know in Slavic Rodnovery and Japanese Shinto - wood has a strong prevalence for… maintaining spiritual bodies. Which is why so many idols and images from the East of gods and guardians are carved out of wood.”
   
“Hell, girlie, some ghosts like Jade too - like in Korea.” Nostalgia was written on Sid’s face as he closed his eyes, but right, right - the task at hand. Distractions were becoming abundant and almost overwhelming. “The dead are attracted to anything of value in our world. Anything that is merely believed to have powa’, well, can get pretty damn powa’ful, ya hearin’ me?”
   
Having hopped off of the table to stretch his little wooden legs, Sid allowed himself a little stroll around the workshop.     “Wood is one thing that is easy to maintain and also restore… but also, can burn, ya know? If ya ever got somethin’ bad in a wooden figure, ya can exorcise that greaseball demon or whatever with fire. Fire - is a force of nature.” His thumbs pointed back at himself triumphantly. “Like me, a force a’ nature. Not bad, nor evil, but not always good. Fire can heat ya food and keep ya warm, but fire can also burn down ya whole block.”
   
Mati found it enduring but also very silly, for a man trapped in such a small body to say such things. But she did get the gist of what he was saying. “Mr. De Ascanio was preparing a large puppet body for himself. He wanted to transfer his soul to a pure body free of illness, that would take onh is shape and eventually turn to flesh… I thought it was too much, even coming from him. But now…” She remembered the blood from the glass shard she pulled from Sid’s head. “I think it is possible. If we do it right.”
   
“He was that desperate? That is some really wicked nutjob stuff. Lost a few marbles in the end, did he? Or was he guzzling giggle juice all night when he thought that up?” In all his years, it had been a bit since he heard of such a dark attempt to extend a life. But Sid also knew that people were very desperate to live. Hell, he look at him now and his resilience toward all normalcy in his own situation. “So - he has that puppet body, ready to be possessed somewhere, human sized and everything? Wait - was that the ritual he was trying?”
   
“I don’t think so. He attempted it before and it didn’t work.” Mati astutely claimed, which rang a few bells for Sid in return.
   
Almost impatiently, he tapped a foot to his own rhythm he hummed before it all came together and he was able to conspire a theory. “I think I know what happened… He tried to perform a ritual but there was already a wooden vessel with a spirit conveniently inside of it…” As Sid spoke, Mati scooted her chair closely and sat down, listening intently - rather interested in all of this from a supposed ‘pro’s’ perspective. “Ritual has a lot of grandiose words, if ya ain’t sayin’ it fluently and just fibbin’ it, ya need to at least be specific. So it seems, I was an accidental conduit for his little wood-to-flesh act…”
   
Unbelievable, but it made sense. He flexed his little fingers and could feel some vague sensations. “I used to feel a bit of my old self when I was first trapped in this looneybin of a slammer - this wooden big house, this prison. But now, its da opposite. I am forgettin’ what my real body felt like and now - I’m starten to feel a bit hollow.” Pointing a finger at her accusingly, Sid let out another joke to ease her. “So think twice before ya start sticking ya hands anywhere near me!”
   
She laughed. “No, no, I would never!” The laugh wasn’t because it was funny, but because it was lewd and embarrassing. “Besides, I don’t think I could be seen carrying you around anywhere like that… people make fun of me enough as it is.”
   
“Kids and the youth - the real tyrants of society. Some fancy greek guy said that once.”
   
“You mean… Socrates?”
   
“Yeah, that’s the cat and frankly, that cat’s scratch was hardly inaccurate. He knew what was up.” Sid let out a sigh, or at least pretended to. His body was not necessarily able to breathe, let alone even do something as subtle as that. So it was entirely a dramatic heave of his stiff shoulders and some auditory, dramatic overacting. “Aaghhhh…”
   
He was super odd, literally from a different era, Mati had to remind herself. For a guy made of wood, there was something magnetizing about him though. “Something on your mind?” She asked him.
   
It was hardly a retort, but he did reply somewhat callously. “Ye, I need new body, a proper shag and the right to die in the arms of a beautiful hard-body lady on my 150th birthday…” Dreams aside, the body was still a very possible goal. “We gonna find that De Ascanio’s wooden-body substitute and whatever book of incantations he had. But there’s more to it…”
   
“You mean the fact his murder scene is just next door?” Stated Mati rather blankly. It was a good point.
   
Undeniably, Sid had to say that was exactly what he was thinking. “Kind of hard to ignore that. If he accidentally tried to summon somethin’ to work for ‘im or do a favour for ‘im and it didn’t even offer a low down… This whole campus is not safe until we figure out what happened to ol’ De Ascanio.”
   
“That… might prove difficult. That part of his private study is sealed off for police investigation, right now… the deen of the campus is also very careful as to not let anyone in or even talk about it.” Mati cleared the air on that, reminding Sid that there was more than just a small conspiracy afoot with the death of De Ascanio.
   
“But…?” He interrupted bluntly.
   
“But?” She had no idea where he was going with this, but maybe she should have given it some thought before asking.
   
“But - there is always another way in. Guys like this, wannabe necro-joe or not, De Ascanio had a secret passageway to his quarters from here, didn’t he…?” Sid prided himself on the assessment, because it was true - the fact Mati didn’t have to say anything but nod slowly was enough for him to pat his own back over it. “I am guessing it is behind… that bookshelf, right?”
   
The bookshelf was hand carved out of some gorgeous cherry-red wood. Rosewood paneling, something you’d see on a guitar fretboard, made the backdrop and the shelves themselves were sturdy but with some light reading material on it. All of the books were hardly related to intellectual pursuits or occult studies.
   
It was a hobby-shelf. Full of fiction. Some authors even ol’ Sid recognized. Like that strange cat Lovecraft.
   
“H-how did you figure out Mr. De Ascanio’s secret entrance so quickly?!” Mati was almost mad, for it took her ages to even get the privilege of knowing from De Ascanio himself.
   
“Easy! When ya have a keen eye like me and been around the biggest of apples of demon activity, this stuff is elementary. Nah, its kindergarten!” Sid flexed his prowess as a detective and a demon hunter a bit, knowing that Mati was probably admiring it quietly.
   
Just the fact that this wet sock named De Ascanio has a library of his own books was enough I needed to know about him. He started out as a fiction writer when his research took him too deep. In a way, his personal study being blocked by a literal shelf, acting as a door - of the very gateway-books that introduces him to his own cosmic insignificance… it made sense. In an artsy, fancy pants sort of way.
   
He held his chin with his little fingers, letting it jabber loosely for a moment as he examined which ‘book’ likely would activate a secret lever of some sort to open the door.
   
These esoteric eccentric types - they are cornballs. Everythin’ they do is straight off of the cobb. They got nothin’ to lose but their own respect for their own intellectual processes. Bunch of ego driven mama’s boys. The types who always play with fire, play with demons and had to call in a hard dick like me to fix the problem. Sew or staple the rift in reality they kept cuttin’ into so casually like someone filleting a fish.
  
 “If you are wondering… if there is a book to activate a secret door, it is a lot more simple.” A defeated Mati finally stood up and moved toward the bookshelf with some quick steps, while having to hop over a recently shipped box with other supposedly haunted merchandise inside. She pressed herself against the shelf and held onto it tightly, while she mustered a surprising amount of effort-driven strength. From there, she began to forcefully shift the book shelf away from the concealed door behind it.
   
It was nice seeing the book worm exert herself a bit, Sid had to admit. “Sorry there ain’t much I can do with this frame o’ mine, currently.” There was genuinely nothing he could do, but watch and simply look at her skirt. At least the dress code at the school let them pick whatever panties they wanted. She was not wearing anything too hot and tawty, but it was a precious view regardless.
   
“Almost there, keep goin’!” He motivated as he stepped closer, dipping down some to get a glimpse at the legs she had mostly covered up with high socks. He was glad they weren’t stockings after all, the girl had some mean legs. Or maybe he just had what the boys called ‘prison goggles’. After not seeing much dames in the past unknown decades since he was conscious and sentient - anyone seemed positively smoking in certain ways.

The girl had a fine ass beneath that skirt, even if she did not know it. It was such a shame she dressed somewhat baggy, maybe to hide that little bit of pudge at her abdomen. A little extra on the stomach didn’t bother Sid too much. As he used to say in the ol’ days, I don’t mind a few extra pounds - I like to pound ‘em.
   
While Sid was still completely eyeing her panties, eventually, Matilde managed to scoot the shelf out of the way - skidding it across the floor, damaging the wooden surface.     “Oops…” Sheepishly, she nudged the scrapes with her foot. Not like there was anything De Ascanio could do about it, even if he were to come back from the grave - as the whole world likely knew him as one of many death authors, gone before their time now. “Sorry, Mr. De Ascanio…” And yet, she still apologized…
   
“Don’t worry about the dead, gal - the dead don’t need any apologies.” Sid walked up to the now, not-so-hidden door. “Had a feeling this would be too easy…” It was sealed, in more ways than one. It also lacked a handle or doorknob, which probably was what allowed it to be hidden behind the shelf in the first place. It was very blatantly a door, reinforced with some light steel stamped over wood - but actually getting in would prove difficult.
   
Largely because it was also shackled shut, apparently. Chains and padlocks, all marked with a strange red paint as well. Even Mati was surprised about this. “Mr. De Ascanio would never do this… I am curious why he would suddenly lock this entrance just before the ritual…”
   
“To keep something inside, I am guessing… He must have anticipated something was going to go wrong.” Sid looked down at himself, feeling something strange on his end too. “Oh, uhhh…” Jeez, don’t let the girl see, come on man - have some decency!
   
“Is everything alright, Sid?” Averting her attention from the door to the dummy, Mati saw as Sid suddenly turned away - his back facing her. At first, it looked like he was simply being dramatic and brooding. “...”
   
“Heh, looks like this will be harder than I thought.” Sid stated, with a poor choice of words. The reason he was turning away was to hide that he had somehow, managed to get an erection from staring at her panties when he peeped underneath her skirt. Making himself flustered, he fumbled his next words. “I am sure we have something in here that can… break those chains off, easy as sliced cheese.”
   
Yeah, that is right, if I play it cool, I should be fine. Not like she saw anything, Sid. Just keep ya back to her for a moment and just think about the job ahead of you two’s. Ignore everything else. Just, I wish I had some muscles still. If ya ever had a hard day and found yourself with some morning wood, in this case literally, if ya flexed your leg or somethin’ for a minute - the erection would calm down like a tame dog. But damn, I ain’t got anythin’ to flex right now!
   
A long drawn out sigh came from Mati. “If it is about your… erection. You had it for a while. I’ve just been ignoring it.” She was so terribly embarrassed to admit this. Mati wanted to just dig herself a hole and hide in it like a trench in a world war. Anything but to have to confront this awkward fact ever again.
   
“Oh, uhh... sorry. It is just uhh, mornin’ wood, just woke up not too long ago and-”
   
“No! I get it! No need to elaborate further, please!”
   
“It is a bit weird… ain’t it…?” Sid was distraught, his condition was more serious than he realized. “This body is becoming more and more human… and we’re running out of time.” The serious of the conversation finally killed the boner. Confidentally, he faced the locked door again.
   
“How long… before you think the humanization process will be complete?” Mati asked, now actually scared about what might just happen and if this was on the tamer side of something that would end up becoming completely grotesque. Would he end up being some terrible chimera? A flesh and wood hybrid?
   
“A few days, just a couple… meaning we have to act fast.”     Sid walked up to the door, giving it a kick out of frustration. “Sturdy. And I think the red paint on the locks definitely means something.”
   
“Actually, I think that is from when we were painting the archway outside of the museum… we painted it red and it landed on some of the fencing we used to keep intruders out.” Mati corrected - although she felt bad for doing such.
   
“Oh, well that is a good thing then - just means we don’t have to play any fancy magical card games with the damn things.” Something like a good hammer could even break the padlock off, but then again - picking it would be the most gentlemanly way to go about it. Sid went through all the possibilities. “Wait, I got it…”
   
The plan was formulated. The dye was caste. It was time to put his little wooden brain to the races and take home the whole train. Badabing. “That tweezer kit… open it up and get some needles and use the tweezers give ‘em a bend. We are gonna lock pick this like we were a Robin hood, robbin’ the neighborhood. Easy in and out, like a doctor!” The idea was discrete, calculated. Not necessarily his style, but in these circumstances, improvisation was king.
   
That was one when Mati had emerged with a pair of bolt cutters. Furious ones. “Let’s hope these chains aren’t enchanted.” The steel mandibles were widened and then tightly forced to bite the chain link, just below one of the main padlocks. “One snip… should be all it takes…”
   
“Where the hell ya get that, dolly?” It wasn’t even loud, Sid realized. A metallic snap later and the chains began to dangle off the door, one by one, before they fell to the ground with a thud that only resonated within the workshop. “Just when ya can’t surprise me anymore, ya bring out the jaws of life…”
   
“Oh, these things…?” Nonchalantly, Mati shrugged and wiped some beads of sweat from her forehead, before readjusting her glasses with a single nudge of her finger at the nose-bridge.     “Mr. De Ascanio used to get these huge crates delivered here, full of books, sometimes statues and other things… He was scared of the University Deen having them removed, so he requested they be shipped chained up…”
   
Triumphantly, the already exhausted and out of shape Mati tossed the bolt cutters aside. Admiring the door that was now free to be opened. Stomping up to it, Sid gave it a push - but no luck. “Uhhh… This is a pull door, isn’t it?” He felt only a little bit stupid.
   
“I’ll grab the crowbar, the door was never meant to be opened from this side, it was always more of an emergency exit - or rather… It's less a secret door to his study and more a secret door to his workshop.” All of this was said with an exhausted sigh. It didn’t take long for Mati to find a chipped and worn crowbar in the assortment of tools, likely used to pry open the crates and boxes that she mentioned earlier. “I know, I know, secret doors in his secret study to a not-so-secret workshop. It's complicated but he said it had to do with… Kung Fu?”
   
“Feng Shui.” Corrected Sid, as he meekly watched her stab the slab of steel between the door and the nearly flat frame with his arms crossed. “Thought ya would have known that one, or did ya get that wrong so that I’d feel smarta by correctin’ ya, toots?”
   
“Something like that.” Mati cringed as the door finally was forced open. “Here we go…”

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